Can counseling help new mothers and parents?
Yes, for many of the problems that come with a new baby or a growing family. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) names cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy as evidence-based therapies for perinatal depression, used alone or alongside medication. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force goes further and recommends that clinicians provide or refer pregnant and postpartum people who are at increased risk of depression to counseling, because it found convincing evidence that these therapies help prevent it.
Counseling is also useful when nothing is clinically wrong but life feels unmanageable: the identity shift of matrescence, a relationship under strain, or parenting stress and burnout years into raising children.
When is it time to talk to someone?
You do not need a diagnosis to ask for help. Postpartum Support International says the same. Some signs that counseling may be worth it:
- Low mood, worry or irritability that has lasted more than two weeks, or is getting worse rather than better.
- Unwanted, frightening thoughts about the baby that take up a lot of the day. See postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
- Feeling cut off from the baby, from your partner, or from yourself.
- The same argument with your partner, over and over, about sleep, chores or how to parent.
- Snapping at your children and feeling ashamed afterward. See staying calm when your child pushes your buttons.
- Old experiences, including how you were parented, coming back with force now that you are a parent.
- A partner who seems withdrawn, angry or not themselves since the baby arrived.
Start with your doctor too
If you think you may have postpartum depression, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) advises calling your ob-gyn or another health professional right away rather than waiting for the postpartum checkup. Your provider can screen you, rule out physical causes such as thyroid problems, and discuss medication if it may help. Counseling works well alongside that care. Baby blues or postpartum depression? explains the difference.
What counseling for parents can involve
Counseling is not one thing. Depending on what brings you in, it may focus on:
- Mood and anxiety: understanding the pattern, changing the thoughts and habits that feed it, and rebuilding routines that protect sleep and support.
- Relationships: how roles, conflict and closeness have changed since the baby, and the people around you, including grandparents and friends. This is the focus of interpersonal therapy.
- Identity and meaning: who you are now, what kind of parent you want to be, and what you carry from your own family.
- The couple: dividing the load fairly, handling disagreements about parenting, and finding each other again. See your relationship after a baby.
- Grief: for a birth that did not go as planned, a loss, or the life before children.
How Laura Bass works with parents
Laura Bass is a psychotherapist in Charlotte, North Carolina, with a BA in psychology from UNC Chapel Hill and an MSW from the University of South Carolina. She works with adults, and her practice includes parenting and postpartum concerns. That can mean a new mother on her own in individual counseling, a father or partner who is struggling, or a couple working through the strain of a new baby or a parenting disagreement in couples counseling.
Laura works with the parents, not with children directly. She does not offer child or family therapy with children in the session. If a child needs their own support, a pediatrician or a child therapist is the right place to start.
She works with the whole person, mind, body and spirit, and clients choose how much any spiritual or energy-based work is part of their sessions. Laura does not diagnose or prescribe medication; questions about medication, including during breastfeeding, belong with a physician or psychiatric prescriber. For practical details such as scheduling and fees, contact Laura directly.
When counseling is not the right first step
Scheduled counseling is not emergency care. Postpartum psychosis, with confusion, hallucinations, paranoia or beliefs out of touch with reality, is a medical emergency: call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room, and stay with the parent and baby. If you are thinking about suicide or harming yourself, call or text 988. For round-the-clock support with pregnancy and postpartum mental health, call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262).
If there is violence, threats or control in your relationship, couples counseling is not appropriate. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you think through safety: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
Some parents need a perinatal specialist, for example for severe postpartum OCD or a history of bipolar disorder. Postpartum Support International keeps a directory of perinatal mental health providers, and its HelpLine (1-800-944-4773) can help you find one.
How to start
Getting to a first appointment with a baby at home is hard in itself, so keep the first step small. A short message is enough: that you recently had a baby, or that you are a parent who is struggling, and what you would like help with. Contact Laura to ask whether her practice is a good fit for you. For guidance on choosing, see how to tell whether a therapist is a good fit, or return to the parenting and postpartum guide.
Common questions
What kind of therapy helps with postpartum depression?
NIMH names cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy as evidence-based talk therapies for perinatal depression. CBT works on the thoughts and habits that keep low mood going; interpersonal therapy focuses on relationships, roles and support. Treatment can also include medication, prescribed by a physician. Many parents use therapy and medical care together, and your doctor and therapist can help you decide what fits.
Can I see a counselor if I am not sure I have postpartum depression?
Yes. You do not need a diagnosis to talk to a counselor, and many parents come in simply feeling overwhelmed, unlike themselves, or at odds with their partner. It is still wise to mention your symptoms to your ob-gyn, midwife or primary care doctor, who can screen for postpartum depression and check for physical causes.
Does Laura Bass work with children?
No. Laura works with adults, including parents, stepparents and couples, on parenting and postpartum concerns. She does not provide therapy for children or family sessions with children in the room. Parents often find that working on their own stress, reactions and relationship changes things at home. If your child needs support of their own, start with your pediatrician.
Can my partner come to sessions with me?
Laura works with both individuals and couples, so a partner can be part of the work where it helps, whether the focus is the relationship or how to support a parent who is struggling. Some parents start alone and invite a partner later. Ask Laura how she would structure it for your situation.