What this guide covers
Becoming a parent, and staying one, asks a great deal of adults. Sleep, work, money, friendships and the relationship between partners all shift, often at once. This guide is written for those adults: new and expecting mothers, fathers and partners, and parents of older children and young adults who are finding it harder than they expected.
If you are near the start, becoming a parent gives an overview of the first year and lists the helplines that answer around the clock. The pages here go further into the specific things that tend to bring parents to counseling.
After the baby
The first months bring the biggest and fastest changes. Is it the baby blues or postpartum depression? explains how to tell ordinary early weepiness from something that needs treatment. The CDC reports that about 1 in 8 women with a recent live birth report symptoms of postpartum depression, and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists advises calling your provider right away, not waiting for the postpartum checkup, if you think you have it.
For many parents the main symptom is not sadness but worry, or sudden images of the baby being hurt. Postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts explains why those unwanted thoughts are so common, what research says about them, and how they differ from psychosis.
Mothers are not the only ones affected. Postpartum depression in fathers and partners covers the research on dads and non-birthing parents, and why their symptoms are often missed.
Two pages look at slower changes. Who you are after becoming a mother introduces matrescence, the identity shift researchers compare to adolescence. Your relationship after a baby explains why so many couples struggle in the first years of parenthood and what the Gottman Institute's research suggests helps.
Parenting, at any age
The pressures change as children grow, but they rarely disappear. Parenting stress and burnout looks at what happens when the demands outrun your reserves for months at a time, and parent guilt at the feeling that you are never doing enough.
Many parents come to counseling because of their own reactions: staying calm when your child pushes your buttons is about the moments you lose your temper and regret it. Others come because they and their partner disagree: when you and your partner parent differently covers how to work as a team without one person winning.
Parenting while depressed or anxious is for parents managing their own mental health while looking after children, and parenting teenagers and young adults for the different worries of the later years. Stepfamilies have their own guide in blended families.
Getting help
Counseling can help with postpartum depression and anxiety, with the strain on a couple, and with the longer work of becoming the parent you want to be. The National Institute of Mental Health names cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy as evidence-based therapies for perinatal depression, often alongside medical care. Counseling for parents and new mothers explains when to reach out and what counseling can involve.
Laura Bass is a psychotherapist in Charlotte, North Carolina, who works with adults. Her practice includes parenting and postpartum concerns, in individual counseling and couples counseling. She works with parents rather than with children directly, and she does not diagnose or prescribe medication. Contact Laura to ask whether her practice fits what you need.
If you need help now
Postpartum psychosis, with confusion, hallucinations or paranoia after birth, is a medical emergency: call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. In any emergency call 911, and if you are thinking about suicide or harming yourself, call or text 988.
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline answers calls and texts from pregnant and postpartum parents and their families 24 hours a day at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). Postpartum Support International's HelpLine, 1-800-944-4773, connects parents with local support; it is not a crisis line. If there is violence or fear in your home, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is confidential: 1-800-799-7233.
Common questions
Does Laura Bass offer postpartum counseling?
Laura works with adults on parenting and postpartum concerns, including new mothers, fathers and partners, individually or as a couple. She does not prescribe medication, so anyone who may need it should also see a physician or psychiatric prescriber. Ask Laura whether her practice is the right fit for your situation, especially if you are looking for a perinatal specialist.
Who should I call first if I think I have postpartum depression?
Your ob-gyn, midwife or primary care doctor, and do not wait for your scheduled checkup. They can screen you and discuss treatment, which often includes therapy. If you want to talk it through first, call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262 at any hour. In an emergency call 911.
Do you only cover the newborn stage?
No. The first group of pages covers pregnancy and the first year, and the second covers parenting at any age, from toddler tantrums to adult children. All of it is written for the parents, since Laura Bass works with adults. Stepfamily questions have their own guide on blended families.