Why see a counselor outside your own town?
The usual reason is simple: you want your counselor to be someone you will not also meet at the hardware store, the school pickup line or the Sunday potluck. For people with anxiety, especially worry about what others think, that separation can make it much easier to say what is really going on.
Therapists take this seriously too. The National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics says social workers should not engage in dual or multiple relationships with clients where there is a risk of exploitation or potential harm, and that when such relationships cannot be avoided, the social worker is responsible for setting clear, appropriate and culturally sensitive boundaries. In a county of about nineteen thousand people, some overlap is almost inevitable, which is why many people choose to add a little distance.
Going a town over is not about secrecy or shame. It is about keeping one room in your life where you are not anyone's neighbor, customer or fellow committee member.
What overlap looks like in a small place
None of these make good counseling impossible, but each is worth thinking about before you choose:
- Your therapist knows your spouse, your parents or your adult children socially.
- You and your therapist attend the same church, ride at the same barn or volunteer for the same organization.
- Your therapist is a customer of your business, or you are a customer of theirs.
- A friend or relative is already seeing the same therapist. A therapist will never discuss one client with another, but some people simply prefer not to share.
- You are likely to see your therapist's car outside the office every time you drive down Main Street, and they yours.
The trade-offs of a longer drive
Privacy is one side of the scale; getting there is the other. A 2020 systematic review of routine psychological therapy by Robinson, Delgadillo and Kellett found that weekly sessions appear to speed improvement compared with less frequent schedules. Anxiety work also tends to build from one session to the next. A counselor you can reach every week, in bad weather and on busy days, may help more than one who is perfect on paper but hard to get to.
Anxiety itself can make the drive harder. If driving, unfamiliar places or being away from home are part of what you struggle with, a nearer office may be the better first step, and the drive can become part of the work later. Be honest with yourself about what you will actually keep doing.
It also helps to check practical things: parking, whether you can arrive and leave without walking through a busy waiting room, and how long the trip takes at the time of day you would go. How to reach out to a counselor discreetly has more on arriving and leaving without fuss.
Columbus as a middle ground
For much of Polk County and the South Carolina towns just over the line, Columbus works as a middle ground. It is the county seat, about five miles from Tryon, about eight from Landrum and about ten from Saluda, on roads people drive for ordinary errands. An adult going to an appointment in Columbus looks like any other trip to town.
It is not anonymous. Columbus is a town of about a thousand people, and you may well see someone you know in the parking lot. That is worth talking about with your counselor early, so you agree in advance how to handle it.
Laura Bass works with adults and lists anxiety among the concerns she sees. Her main practice is in Charlotte, and she has a part-time office at The Healing Cottage in Columbus. Because the Columbus office is part-time, ask which days she is there. Whether Charlotte or Columbus suits you better is covered in anxiety counseling in Charlotte or Columbus, and anxiety counseling in Columbus, NC describes the local office.
If you live across the state line
People in Landrum, Campobello and Inman often look north to Polk County as well as south to Spartanburg and Greenville. If you live in South Carolina and are considering a counselor in North Carolina, ask whether they can see you, and check with your insurer whether an out-of-state office is in network for your plan. The page on seeing a therapist near Landrum, SC covers the practical details.
If video sessions would make regular appointments easier, ask any therapist you are considering whether they offer them and from where you may take them. NIMH notes that psychotherapy can be effective whether it is delivered in person or by telehealth.
Questions to ask, wherever you go
A short conversation before booking can settle most of this. Ask whether the therapist knows anyone in your family or circle, how they handle meeting clients around town, and what you should do if a connection comes to light later. Our page of questions to ask before you start has more, and the pillar on anxiety and privacy in a small town explains what confidentiality covers.
To ask Laura about any of this, call 704-706-3264 or use the contact page.
If anxiety ever turns into a crisis, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 at any hour. In Polk County, Vaya Health's 24-hour crisis line is 1-800-849-6127. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Common questions
Is it rude to choose a counselor in another town when there is one nearby?
Not at all. Therapists who work in small communities understand that many people prefer some distance, and none of them will take it personally. Choosing the right fit for your privacy and comfort is part of making counseling work. You can also ask a nearby therapist for names further away; it is a common request.
What if my therapist turns out to know someone I know?
Raise it as soon as you notice. A therapist should tell you if an existing relationship means they cannot see you, and should never discuss you with the other person. Often the connection is distant enough to talk through and agree on boundaries. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can ask for a referral elsewhere without explaining further.
How far is too far to drive for counseling?
There is no fixed answer. The best distance is one you can manage regularly, ideally weekly at first, since research on routine therapy suggests weekly sessions speed improvement. Think about weather, work hours and how anxious the drive itself makes you. For many people around Tryon, Landrum and Saluda, Columbus is close enough to be routine and far enough to feel separate.
Does Laura see people from Saluda and Landrum?
Laura works with adults and has a part-time office at The Healing Cottage in Columbus, about ten miles from Saluda and about eight from Landrum. Because the office is part-time, ask which days she is there. If you live in South Carolina, also check that your plan covers a North Carolina office. Call 704-706-3264 or use the contact page.