How can you contact a counselor without everyone knowing?
Contact the counselor from a phone, email address or time of day that only you control, keep the first message short, and say how you would like to be contacted back. That is most of it. A counselor is used to people who need discretion, and asking for it is an ordinary request.
In a town where the post office clerk knows your handwriting and your neighbor knows your car, it can feel as if every step is visible. In practice, the first contact is the most exposed moment, because it involves phones, inboxes and voicemail that other people in the household may share. The rest of this page is about making that moment quiet.
Choosing how to make first contact
To reach Laura Bass, you can call 704-706-3264 or use the contact page. Each has a small privacy trade-off worth thinking about before you start.
- A phone call is quick, but think about where you will be when the call is returned. A shared landline or a phone that others answer is worth avoiding.
- A form or email can be sent at a moment that suits you, such as from your car or during a lunch break. Use an email account only you read.
- If you share a phone plan, recent call logs may show on the bill or in the account. A message through the contact page avoids that particular trail.
- If you would rather not be called at all, say so, and ask for a reply by email or text instead. Ask Laura which of these she uses.
What to say in a first message
Less than you think. A first message only has to start a conversation. Something like this is enough: your first name, the best way and time to reach you, that you are looking for individual counseling, and anything about contact that matters to you, such as please do not leave a detailed voicemail.
You do not need to describe the anxiety, your history or why now. Those are conversations for later, in private. If it helps, you can say only that you would like to talk about stress or worry.
It is also reasonable to put a few practical questions in the first message, such as which days Laura is at her part-time office in Columbus, whether video sessions are available, and whether she is in network with your insurer. Questions to ask before you start has more.
What can you ask for under privacy law?
Two parts of the federal HIPAA Privacy Rule are useful when discretion matters. Both apply to health care providers covered by the rule, which includes most counselors who bill insurance. Ask Laura how she handles each one.
Confidential communications
The rule says a covered health care provider must permit you to request, and must accommodate reasonable requests, to receive communications by alternative means or at alternative locations. In plain terms: you can ask to be called only on your cell phone, to have mail sent to a different address, or to have messages say nothing about the reason for the call. The provider can ask you to put the request in writing, and cannot require you to explain why.
Paying yourself and keeping it from your health plan
The same section of the rule says a covered provider must agree to your request not to disclose information to your health plan for payment purposes when the service has been paid in full out of pocket. Some people choose this when an employer or a family member manages the insurance account. It has costs, so think it through. If you are not using insurance, federal rules also generally require providers to give you a good faith estimate of expected charges when you ask or when you schedule at least three business days ahead, according to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.
Our page on insurance, records and privacy explains what an insurer sees when you do use your plan.
Arriving and leaving without fuss
Once you have an appointment, privacy mostly comes from ordinary choices. An appointment in Columbus, the county seat, looks like any other errand: the courthouse, county offices and several clinics are all there. Tryon is about five miles away on NC 108, and Landrum about eight. Many people simply say they have an appointment, which is true and complete.
If you are worried about meeting someone you know at the door or in the parking area, raise it when you book and again in the first session. Ask Laura for the address when you schedule, since it is not published on this site. Seeing someone outside your own town is one more option, covered in seeing a counselor outside your own town.
Telling the people at home, or not
Who you tell is your decision. Some people tell a spouse straight away, because it is easier than hiding appointments. Others wait until they have had a session or two and have the words for it. Both are fine.
If the anxiety is tied up with your marriage or partnership, there may be reasons to think carefully about timing. When anxiety strains a relationship covers that. If you are not safe at home, or someone monitors your phone or messages, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, before you reach out to anyone else, and ask them about safer ways to communicate.
Ready to reach out?
Laura Bass is a psychotherapist who works with adults, and anxiety is among the concerns she lists. Her main practice is in Charlotte, and she has a part-time office at The Healing Cottage in Columbus. Call 704-706-3264 or use the contact page, and say how you would like to be contacted back.
The website and inquiry form are not monitored for emergencies. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 at any hour, or call Vaya Health's crisis line for Polk County at 1-800-849-6127. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Common questions
Will Laura leave a voicemail that says she is a counselor?
Ask her. Counselors generally keep voicemails short and neutral, and you can ask for messages that give only a first name and a number, or no message at all. Put your preference in your first message so it is clear from the start. Under the HIPAA Privacy Rule, a covered provider must accommodate reasonable requests about how and where you are contacted.
Can I ask for a reply by email instead of a phone call?
Yes, you can ask. Say in your first message that you would prefer email or text and give the address or number only you use. Laura will tell you which ways of communicating she uses and anything to know about privacy with each. Keep clinical details out of email until you have talked about how messages are handled.
Does my employer find out if I use my work insurance?
Your insurer, not your employer, processes the claim, and it receives the limited information it needs to pay, such as dates and a diagnosis code. Employers do not normally see individual claims. If an employer or relative manages the account, you can pay yourself and ask a covered provider not to bill the plan. Ask your insurer and Laura how this would work for you.
What if I am too anxious to make the call?
Use the contact form instead, at a time when no one is around, and keep it to two sentences. You can also write what you want to say before dialing and read it out. If anxiety turns into a crisis while you are waiting for a reply, do not wait: call or text 988, or call Vaya Health at 1-800-849-6127.