Survivor guilt after layoffs: coping when you kept your job

Why do people feel guilty after surviving a layoff?

People feel guilty after surviving a layoff because the line between who stayed and who left often seems arbitrary. You may have watched a friend who was just as capable, or more so, pack up their desk. Your relief that it was not you can feel disloyal. And you may still see their empty chair, or their name in old email threads, every day.

Researchers have a name for the wider pattern: layoff survivor sickness, or survivor syndrome. It describes the guilt, anxiety, lowered trust and lowered commitment that can follow downsizing among the people who remain. The term is descriptive, not a diagnosis, but it captures how common these reactions are.

What else do layoff survivors feel?

Guilt is rarely the only feeling. Many survivors describe a mix that can shift from hour to hour.

• Anxiety about whether there will be another round, and whether you will be in it.
• Grief for the colleagues and the team that no longer exist.
• Anger at leadership, or at how the layoffs were handled.
• Exhaustion from absorbing the work of people who left.
• Distrust: a sense that loyalty is not returned, which can make it hard to care about the job in the same way.
• Relief, and then guilt about the relief.

What does research say about the stress of staying?

The strain on survivors shows up in research. In a cross-sectional study of 758 workers affected by downsizing in France, Hungary, Sweden and the United Kingdom, Harvey Brenner and colleagues found that both unemployment and surviving layoffs were significantly associated with depressive symptoms, compared with being reemployed. A Stanford study of a large manufacturing company by Sepideh Modrek and Mark Cullen found that salaried workers who remained at plants with severe downsizing reported more work stress in the following years than those at other plants.

A Finnish study of 764 municipal employees who kept their jobs, led by Mika Kivimäki and published in the BMJ, found that major downsizing was followed by more sickness absence, and was associated with heavier physical demands, more job insecurity, less job control and reduced support from a spouse. Changes in work explained part, though not all, of the increase in sickness absence.

How do you cope with survivor guilt at work?

There is no way to make the situation feel fair, but a few things tend to ease it.

• Name it. Telling yourself "this is survivor guilt" can separate the feeling from the facts. You did not cause the layoffs by keeping your job.
• Reach out to colleagues who left, if it feels right. A message, a coffee or a reference is often welcome, and it can turn helpless guilt into something useful.
• Be honest about the workload. If you are now doing two jobs, raise it with your manager in concrete terms: what you can do well, what will slip, and what needs to be prioritized.
• Set limits on overwork. Survivors often try to prove their worth with longer hours. It rarely makes anyone safer and it wears you down. Boundaries on your time and signs of burnout are worth reading.
• Talk to someone outside work. Coworkers are carrying the same weight, and complaining together can sometimes feed the anxiety rather than ease it.
• Allow the grief. A team you liked is gone. It is reasonable to miss it.

When the worry is about the next round

For many survivors, guilt soon gives way to fear: will there be more cuts, and what then? That kind of ongoing job insecurity has its own effects, from trouble sleeping to dreading Monday morning. Fear of being laid off looks at that worry in more detail, and Sunday dread and work anxiety covers the anxiety that can build at the edges of the work week.

When is it time to get more support?

It is worth talking to someone if, weeks after the layoffs, you still cannot sleep, feel low most days, are snapping at people at home, are drinking more, or are thinking about leaving mainly to escape the guilt. The Kivimäki study's finding that support from a spouse declined after downsizing is a reminder that work stress often travels home.

If you ever have thoughts of suicide, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

How counseling can help layoff survivors

Counseling can be a place to say what feels unsayable at work: that you are relieved, angry, guilty and scared at once. It can help you sort which feelings point to something you can act on, such as an unsustainable workload, and which ones need to be grieved. Laura Bass is a psychotherapist in Charlotte who works with adults dealing with job stress and layoffs, in individual counseling. To ask about working with her, contact Laura.

More in this guide: chronic work stress, the first weeks after a layoff (worth passing to a former colleague), and the work stress and layoffs guide.

Common questions