When you have faith and still feel anxious

Does anxiety mean my faith is weak?

No. Anxiety is a common human experience, not a measure of how much you believe. The National Institute of Mental Health says feeling anxious is a normal part of life and that many people worry about health, money, work or family. Anxiety becomes something to get help with when it does not go away, gets worse or starts to shape your days, and that happens to devout people as often as to anyone.

Scripture and religious teaching are full of people who were afraid. Verses such as Do not be anxious about anything, from Paul's letter to the Philippians, are meant as comfort, but some people hear them as a rebuke and add guilt to their worry. If that is happening to you, it is worth naming, with a pastor, a counselor or both. Guilt about anxiety rarely makes the anxiety smaller.

Asking for help can itself be an act of faith and of care for the life you have been given. Many traditions encourage people to use the help available to them, including doctors and counselors.

Talking to your pastor first

If you would naturally turn to your pastor, priest or another faith leader, you are in good company. A study by Philip Wang, Patricia Berglund and Ronald Kessler, drawing on a nationally representative U.S. survey, found that about one in four people who had ever sought treatment for a mental health condition had gone to a member of the clergy, and that clergy were contacted more often than psychiatrists or general medical doctors.

A faith leader can pray with you, help you make sense of your experience in the language of your tradition, and stay with you over time. The study's authors called for clergy and health care professionals to work together. A good pastor will tell you if what you are describing sounds like something to raise with a doctor or counselor as well.

In a small congregation, though, your pastor may also be a friend of the family. If that makes it hard to say everything, a counselor outside the church can be a confidential place to start, and you can decide later what, if anything, to bring back to your congregation.

Can counseling respect my faith?

It should, and you can ask before you begin. A 2018 meta-analysis by Laura Captari and colleagues, pooling 97 studies, found that psychotherapy adapted to clients' religious and spiritual beliefs was as effective as standard approaches at reducing psychological distress, and led to greater spiritual well-being. In other words, bringing faith into counseling does not water down the counseling.

For anxiety, that might mean drawing on prayer, scripture or meditation as part of calming practice, exploring what your tradition says about fear and trust, or untangling religious teachings that have become tied up with worry and guilt. It never means being preached at, and a good counselor will not push beliefs you do not hold.

Laura Bass works with the whole person, mind, body and spirit. She studied Spiritual Direction at the Haden Institute and is an ordained minister through the Alliance of Divine Love. Some clients want faith at the center of their sessions, some in the background and some not at all, and the client chooses. The fuller local picture is in faith and counseling in the foothills, and mind, body and spirit for anxiety explains how spiritual practice fits alongside counseling.

Pastor, counselor, or both?

These roles overlap but are not the same. A pastor offers spiritual care within a tradition and a community. A counselor offers structured help with the patterns of worry, avoidance and tension that keep anxiety going, along with professional training in recognizing when more care is needed. Many people find it helps to have both.

Confidentiality works a little differently in each. In North Carolina, G.S. 8-53.2 protects what you tell a clergy member for spiritual counsel from being used as testimony in court, and separate statutes protect what you tell licensed counselors and social workers. Everyone in North Carolina, clergy and counselors included, must report suspected abuse or neglect of a child. The limits that apply to therapists are set out in what your therapist can and cannot share.

Prayer, practice and treatment

For many people, prayer, worship, scripture reading and quiet reflection are a real source of calm. NIMH notes that stress management techniques such as mindfulness and meditation can reduce anxiety symptoms and enhance the effects of therapy, and faith practices can play a similar role in a person's life.

Faith practices are not a substitute for medical care when anxiety is severe, and choosing treatment is not a failure of faith. If you are considering medication, that is a conversation for your doctor; see therapy, medication or both for general information.

If anxiety ever turns into a crisis, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 at any hour. In Polk County, Vaya Health's 24-hour crisis line is 1-800-849-6127. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Taking the first step

You can tell a counselor in your very first message how much you want faith to be part of things, or leave it until you meet. Laura Bass has a part-time office at The Healing Cottage in Columbus; call 704-706-3264 or use the contact page, and ask which days she is there. If you worry about being seen by someone from church, the pillar page on anxiety and privacy in a small town and how counseling helps with anxiety are good places to read next.

Common questions